[husborth]

i don't think you guys get it, the thing about anakin and ahsoka. imagine you're ahsoka and you're thirteen and you're in a warzone and you've been not-so-randomly assigned a new jedi master. he gives you a stupid nickname and jokes around with you and loves you; he's the only person who believes in your innocence when it's questioned, he's that one person that believes in you more than anything. he finds it agonizing to let people go but he lets you go because he trusts you more than anyone. you were special to him and you knew it and there's a pride in that, because not many people were. imagine you're thirteen and it's war and there's explosions and fire and blood and death, and then someone takes your shoulder in his hand and is like, hey, relax. let's play a game. whoever slaughters the most droids wins. and it's easier to breathe because it's less pressure if you squeeze your eyes shut and think you're playing a game with your jedi master, and it will all be okay. you have such vibrant memories of being loved by this man and then, away from you, without you knowing, he turns around and murders a few thousand people all at once in one hideous bloodsoaked night. the hands that cradled your face and tilted it upwards to kiss your forehead are soaked in unfathomable quantities of blood. the person who made you feel that safe is the same guy who is so violent, so removed from any human compassion, that people whisper that he's a droid instead. the only person who believed in your innocence is a living nightmare. like actually what the fuck

[guerrillatech]

[guerrillatech]

[gallusrostromegalus]

Ok so apparently what we needed to fight the crab overlords was a bunch of furry tubes. Good to know!

[kinka-juice]

May I introduce you to the ancestor of seals, sea lions, and walruses?

Meet Puijila.

I see what you're thinking. "That's just a goddamn otter." Nope, the skull and teeth definitely indicate this critter is more related to seals than otters.

Because you know what a seal is if you ignore the blubber? Short tiny limbs on a long flexible body. A woozle.

So that makes for woozles in: mustelidae (true weasels), viverridae (civets), herpestidae (mongooses), eupleridae (Malagasy mongooses), nandiniidae (African palm civet), prionodontidae (asiatic linsangs), procyonidae (cacomistle), canidae (Bush dog), mephitidae (spotted skunk), ailuridae (red panda, a little debatable, but definitely stumpy limbs), and the pinnipeds (Puijila and arguably all true seals).

The only carnivoran clades without obvious woozle shapes are cats (domestic dwarfs don't count), bears, and hyenas. At least not extant ones.

---

Anyhow, here's a selection of not-weasel woozles, all from different families of carnivora.

Perhaps Pooh Bear was right to be frightened of woozle power.

[ceescedasticity]

After the storm again

I see a weasel

[aethersea]

[voidcenturyscholar]

Fire Lord Zuko passing a law that forbids challenging anyone under the age of majority to Agni Kai

Fire Lord Zuko waiting until the day he reaches the age of majority to pass this law, lest anyone think he is a coward

(No one. Literally no one would have thought that, but it’s generally regarded as a very classy move regardless)

[constallayetions]

Wait but also, until then, if anyone under the age of majority is challenged

Zuko fights it for them.

Which, especially in more rural towns (where Agni Kais are less of a public event and more of a fast and violent duel) is terrifying because you challenge your neighbor’s kid over a stolen chicken-fish and all of a sudden the Fire Lord is showing up???

But, those few who still challenge those who should be kids learn quickly to regret it.

[grayblebayble]

Okay but this implies that Zuko knows whenever someone challenges a kid to an Agni Kai and is there before the battle takes place.

Firelord Zuko: *wakes up in a cold sweat near midnight*

Firelord Zuko: *running down the palace hallways while still struggling to put in his pants, being chased by his team of bodyguards* I’M GOING TO HING WA ISLAND TO KICK SOMEBODY’S ASS SEE YOU IN A WEEK BITCHES

[enbyzukostanblog]

Random spirit: Why’d you do that to him? Isn’t it kind of a stretch for a mortal to be blessed like that?

Agni himself: I felt like it

[tobiasgruffy]

@dead-fandom-society @evilkitten3

[yankee-doodle-danger]

how dare you leave this gold in the notes

[madguth]

[madguth]

Don’t ask how much time I spent on this

[madguth]

Bonus:

[magicalandsomeweirdhometours]

Here’s a simple idea I never thought of.

walmart.com

[helpeverythingiscats]

Me when I see a lady or perhaps a booby

[orarewedancy]

So I work at a video game store in a mall and across the hall from us is this really nice suit shop. One day one of the guys came in an asked if they could use our microwave (the store they used to go to closed down) and we bargined for use of their bathroom in return since the mall bathrooms are like a 5 min trek.

So for like three months now we just have these men in really nice suits come in and talk while using our microwave and teach them about nerdy shit? Then I, the goblin king in various shitty tee shirts and paint stained pants, walk into their super expensive store and just get greeted with “Yo dude what’s good?” and talk about the pains of steaming silken dress shirts properly and it’s my favorite business interaction every day

[orarewedancy]

A new jewelry store opened up right next to our store and when I used the bathroom today we were talking about it. I hate it on principle (they flooded our systems closet during building) and immediately both Suit Guys™ working went on mini rants. “Their suits are baggy as hell, I wouldn’t trust them to sell me a $9,000 ring when they can’t get a fitted jacket. They look so unprofessional, ” and “I saw one of the dude’s wearing a teal shirt. It’s fall, and you go with teal? At least get a color to match your store if you’re gonna ignore the seasons like that, Christ, but teal is awful.”

I live for this commentary fam.

[lesbianchrispine]

#flower shop/tattoo artist au is out #suit shop/nerd store au is in

[orarewedancy]

I feel the need to add a story to this? My co-worker brought his longboard to work, and one of the suit guys reminisced on how he used to ride pretty often. So Co-Worker and I were like, “Dude, go give it a spin, who cares, this mall is huge.” He was nervous about it because there are mall cops on segways everywhere (with helmets, like bruh, full on Paul Blart) and he was worried he was gonna get caught, and eventually we made a bet that he could ride down to Macy’s and back (it’s like a straight shot). So dead ass, this man hung up his jacket, took a running start, and zipped down the hallway with his tie in the breeze.

He evaded the mall cops and claimed that was, “One of the biggest rushes he’s ever felt.”

[me-choy-me-noy]

LOVING THIS CONTENT

[guerrillatech]

[sindri42]

A proper money laundering scheme should be a business which is in no way profitable, run by the brother or cousin of a mass murderer who’s really passionate about making a specific kind of food or something but has no idea how prices or advertising work, frequented by folks who you should absolutely never make eye contact with!

[whoa-its-dani]

[memewhore]

[neofooturism]

[neofooturism]

[were-ralph]

IM LAUGHINGGGG THIS US SO FUCKING FUNNY

[theocseason4]

Nahhhh not a therapist saying this what do you think you get paid for

[diogenesnuts]

[brendanicus]

fandom therapist turns out to be high school mean girl more at 10

[fluorescentbrains]

doc davis actually isn’t associated with the tiktok user—and they’re really salty about the video

[thekawaiibutterflygirl]

oh g o d, NO jlsfdlksfdjkjsdfkjlsdfjlksdf BRUH

[seardrax]

Reblog this version. The response of the real doctor is very important as well as the keymash.